Haemin Lee

"I just want to say I am sorry"

Section MS8, Joshua Leon

Keywords: archive, photography, installation

I served in the military in South Korea for two years and have two photographs related to my military service. For this project, I presented one of these photographs and explore how archives can be used and re-recorded to highlight specific situations or systemic injustices, as well as to resist them.

I wanted to share my feelings from the beginning of my military service. At first, I couldn’t understand most of what was happening around me. The strictly defined hierarchy and the system where one must unconditionally obey the orders of senior members felt alien to me. Every time I resisted the oppressive chain of command, I faced physical and mental punishment from those around me, which gradually shaped me into a soldier. Over time, I became assimilated into the system, eventually serving as a squad leader. Ironically, I found myself enforcing discipline and suppressing the efforts of junior soldiers who tried to break away from the rigid system. There is a photo taken on my last day of service. In the photo, I sit in the centre, with what might be an air of arrogance, as if thinking, "If you work hard, your time will come, and you will also be discharged."; However, what I truly should have said to my juniors was an apology for the discipline and oppression I imposed on them. Through the sincere words I should have spoken to my juniors, I want to convey my regrets and offer reconciliation. I aim to reinterpret and reconstruct the snacks used in the farewell party in the photo as objects that symbolise this apology and use them as a medium in the exhibition. I hope the visitors will experience the meaning of sharing snacks together during the exhibition.