This project examines the bizarre commonplace scenarios imagined by people in regard to the functioning of their kitchen belongings. Starting from a selection of interview statements investigating observations between person and appliance, a new range of kitchen products has been designed to explore these individual narratives and mediate between person and possession. Statements such as; The kettle never boils when I’m watching, have formed the basis for the design of speculative products. The project will draw from familiar catalogue design or instruction leaflet aesthetics. Choosing this as the medium by which to present these personal relationships will allow the absurd to be placed within the realm of reality and the bizarre nature of the designed products to be revealed.